| I was feeling kinda  -ish today (for no reason whatsoever. Seriously.), so I decided to just come here and read through my old posts and just soak in the emo-ness. Hahaha. I'm such an emo drip. I should go lie in a ditch somewhere and feel sorry for myself.
But no, this post isn't going to be an emo one, like all the other posts on this blog have been. This is going to be a happy one. A post that shows how much I've grown in the span of just a couple of months. A post that I'm not ashamed of letting people see.
Looking back on how I used to be last time (which was not even a year ago, and emphasis on the "used to"), I feel disgusted at myself. I don't know how I could have let myself become like that. It's just so  -ish. But I guess, we all go through several experiences in our lives that throw us off course, and sometimes, we do things that we're not proud of.
I think I'm just rambling here, but my point is that I think that I've grown. In many different areas actually. And I've learnt so many valuable lessons.
I've learnt how to trust, even if it's difficult to sometimes. But there's no relationship if there's no trust. I've learnt that things aren't always about you, so we should really stop being such selfish bitches and wallowing in our own self pity. And lastly, I've learnt that no matter how shitty the situation is, or how many regrettable things you've done that you just wanna erase from your memory cause they're just so embarrasing, God's always, always there for you. And even if you feel ashamed or angry at yourself, God is always there to comfort you, and reassure you that He loves you just the same, no matter what you've done.
I wanna stop hiding my true feelings, and be proud of who I am. Why should I be so afraid of feeling vulnerable and scared because I'm afraid of what people think about me? They have absolutely no right to make any judgements because they are not me, and they don't know what I'm going through. Who cares if people can't accept me the way I am? God does, and that's all I should care about.
So for now, I think I'll bid this blog goodbye. But I'll keep it, as a reminder of how I used to be, and how I should never fall back into that trap again. :)
I don't know if this post makes sense to any of you (or if there's even anyone reading this, since I didn't let anyone read it. But there were some people who found it, much to my shock and horror and absolute embarrassment ._. I cried like shyttttt for so darn long after that man.), but it does to me, and I guess that's all that matters, right? :)
I'm gonna start living life like a 16 year old should - to the fullest, and leave no room for regrets. :) I'm gonna show the world what I'm made of. I'm gonna try my best to become a better person, a Godly woman of excellence, with a heart of love. :) HAHA! Omg, I'm getting so cheesy. I'm even using my school motto or vision or whatever shyt that is in my emo-happy post. I'm the most loser-ish person on the planet. Hahahaha.
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| Haha. My gosh. I just read through a lot of the old posts. They're pretty funny now that I read through them.
It's been forever since I last came here, cause this blog holds lots of painful memories that I never wanna revisit. But I guess it's good to come back every once in a while to see how much I've grown. :) And I have to say that I'm proud of myself. :)
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